Way to shatter outdated perceptions of women and sex, Marie Lobel!
In this article, Marie Lobel tackles several myths about women who have lots of sex, namely:
- They have low self-esteem.
- They are commitment-phobic.
- Women want monogamy, men are wired to want lots of sex.
- American women have more sex than women in the rest of the world.
- Women are having more sex now than they did ten years ago.
But the one I want to deconstruct a bit more:
- Women who have lots of sex are not “easy”.
Lobel approaches this one by saying that — contrary to what many might think — women who have a lot of sex tend to be more selective about the men they have casual encounters with.* I get what you’re trying to do here. By telling men that they’ve got to be top-notch to make it into pro-sex women’s rolodexes and beds, you’re hoping to eliminate this notion that these women are easy prizes to be won. While I can get on board with that, it’s actually missing the point. What if I like lots of sex and I’m not particularly selective about who I have it with? How does that inherently devalue my sexual freedom? By taking the higher standards stance, the woman who has lots of sex but does so with “low standards,” is still reprehensible and morally inept. She’s still a slut. This does not help the cause. Furthermore, those “standards” are entirely subjective. Lobel, could you please define “better looking,” “more successful,” and “all-around awesome” in universal terms for me?
Also, where is the discussion about women’s non-hetero lovin’?
In conclusion: defending sex positivity in women is a necessary cause and this article offers (mostly) solid arguments for it. But we have to do better and go further to achieve results.